Coffee

Ahhh, Coffee. A drink that I can only sometimes partake in and one that is riddled with caffeine. I don't know about you, but something about the hot bean drink makes me feel comfortable and kind of okay. We are going to talk about why this drink is comforting to me, and what spurred me to drink it at 11 o'clock at night.

First of all: Context. 
The context for this is kind of weird but not so weird. I have had a sneaking suspicion (for about 3 or 4 years now) that I suffer with a combination of anxiety and depression. Only reason I think this is because I knew people who had suffered from it, and diagnosed. I personally have never been diagnosed with it, so I can't say I'm sure. I do believe that all people have it to a degree though. Anyways. This week has been really, really bad. I have had no energy, I have been crying, I really haven't been okay. I don't really have someone that I can confide in (that's actually the reason I started this blog.). So today, I have run out of the energy I somewhat had, and all I want is a cup of coffee. 

Second: Why Coffee?
Well, being upset and just wanted to "relax" I know I should have been craving tea or something, but no. Coffee. Why? honestly, probably because I live in America and everything is about coffee or booze. Maybe it's because I know that it's something that will give me a headache and it's my way of numbing the pain of depression. Maybe it's that coffee is said to give you energy, yet I know that isn't true. Who knows. But Coffee is my choice.

That's all my thoughts right now. I really think that life gets better but only if we make it better. 
Have a goodnight or day. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Truth...

The reason why I created this blog was to just rant about different things in my life. Meaning my journey with God, my daily headaches, my passions, my family, and my frustrations.  Today what I have is a frustration.  I am the youngest of three. Both of my siblings are adults, living there lives, while I am a high schooler (just out) dealing with the stress and anxiety of life. I work a minimum wage job, no car, living in a small Midwestern town. It's hard. There are stereotypes about being the youngest in the family and how you get everything you want when you're young. I will admit, when I was a child, I did get everything I wanted, or so it seemed, now I see something different. I no longer get the care I need from my family because I'm different from them all. Let me explain. For me, I've always been different from my family. I don't care about much, but I used to care a lot. I used to care about how people were doing and how to take care of them. A...
Read more

Fathers day, And Why I don't Celebrate it. (And other holidays)

I don't really celebrate a lot of holidays (Father's day included) and I'm going to mostly explain fathers day today.   ***These are my opinions, and my stories. You don't have to feel the same way*** I don't celebrate it because, for me, it's glorifying sin and bad parenting. Let me explain. A father is supposed to be someone who guides he's family through life in a loving and kind manor. Not only that, but in a christian family he should lead them in God's way. I didn't have that in my life. I had struggle and difficulty. I didn't have a loving father. So, I don't believe that I should appreciate someone who didn't love and care for their family. You shouldn't reward wrong doing.  There also was infidelity in my family that I don't agree with. I believe in monogamy and I stand by my mother side. You shouldn't expect rewards if you didn't do anything to gain them. You also shouldn't expect your wife to do...
Read more